Women need to un-learn what society has taught us about playing it safe.
As women, we are taught to behave and be a “lady.” I think that means something different to all of us. While some of us straight up reject that mentality, many of us internalize it and have a hard time letting loose. We are taught to think that playing by the rules is fail-safe, so everything else begins to feel too risky and we constantly question our own judgement. Before we take action, we wonder: What will others think? How will I explain myself if I offend someone? What if what I want to do or how I want to be is seen seems silly or weird to others? I think this really is something we need to un-learn.
Letting loose can be difficult for women, but the right company can make it easier.
I find that for so many women I photograph, letting loose can be a difficult thing. We wear lots of hats, and can hold tons of responsibility. We are moms, wives, daughters, employees, entrepreneurs, and all the other things. We all feel like there are parts of our reputation that we need to protect, whether we are told those things or just assume them internally. Our beliefs might tell us that doing certain things or being a certain way is against the rules. And we are so self conscious about what letting loose might look like to others that we hold our true selves back to feel “safe” and un-judged by those around us. To feel embarrassed could be debilitating to some. Honestly, though, I believe that if we surround ourselves with the right company— supportive, loving, non-judgmental— we will feel more empowered to be exactly who we are without apology. All the laughs, all the silliness, all the sexiness — and dare I say, all the flaws. Because, I'm sorry (not sorry), but what society tells us is “perfect” is friggin boring to me.
And also, not everyone’s perfect looks the same.
Imagine this: You, as you are right now, are someone else’s “perfect. You just don’t know it.
The magic is all in our differences; the little nuances that make you YOU.
Say that, and repeat it. Over and over and over again.
The Fuck It Moment
Not every person you encounter is going to feel the same way about you as the next, but you’re not meant to be everyone’s person. (What's that saying? It's quality over quantity.) And when you finally decide that you are done caring what everyone else thinks and you’re ready to focus what makes you feel alive, that’s an incredibly special moment. I call this
The Fuck It moment.
Most of my clients have either just experienced that moment, say Fuck it, book themselves a session, and bring that mentality with them to their shoot, or experience it soon after we shoot together and tell me they can’t WAIT to shoot again. And that’s what it’s all about for me.
Perfection is out, YOU are in; bring it all with you and let it shine, baby.
Just a bit about this session. I held a Mother's Day Giveway on Instagram this year, and normally winners are picked at random. It's also usually just women participating because they want the session for themselves. This time, however, a husband nominated his wife for the giveaway, saying how proud he is of her as a new mother and thought that she deserved the heck out of this session. I picked them because it was honestly the sweetest gesture ever, and I felt honored to be able to reward such a genuinely supportive husband. I could not be happier with how the shoot went and how the images came out. Lexi was a pleasure to photograph and both of them really inspired me to write this blog post. This is what boudoir photography is all about. Celebrating the amazing parts of your life, your body, and the relationship you have with yourself and your biggest fan. Xo